1.04.2008

Conceptualize

During these past couple of weeks, the winter holidays have allowed me some form of peace. As the days meander along, I've found an interesting thing about myself. Perhaps I only acknowledge it on subliminal level... which is why I don't really perceive that I'm actually doing it most of the time.

On a minimalistic level, I am quite aware of the fact that I like pondering random tidbits of information. By nature, I believe I am a reflective person. I like to think things through... almost to a painstaking degree. And herein this can be a rather menial task for some, I find it comparatively invigorating. I will ponder the darkening sky, the sullen clouds, the relatively crude nature of human civilization, or maybe even [if I don't mind the oncoming migraine] the questionable subsistence of actuality. What purpose do we as humans have? Are we 'real' in the sense that we a material beings or are we figments of one's overly animated imagination? It is so easy to lose yourself in thought. quixotic

These little ruminations of allusive conjecture that would otherwise be deemed inappropriate for colloquial speech are quite enticing for the curious and philosophical mind. However, lovely as these thoughts may be, I'm not so inclined to think on such... abstract conceptions all the time. Although it is by complete contingency that I may stumble upon any such ideal on any give day. I love to think and ponder, to brood over the all the many questions life may pose. Nonetheless, not everybody likes to think. That's not to say that everybody does not conclusively, come up with some form of thought. This is just to say that not everybody likes the thought of... well, thinking. A difficult set of words there, it even confuses me. Alas, I'll give an example.

Little Johnny sits on a set of swings alone. He is not without friends, no, far from the possibility; he simply prefers to, at this particular moment, be without the constraints of the noisy community. Little Johnny is thinking, as he likes to from time to time.

Elsewhere, Little Suzy dwells. She climbs atop the jungle gym and swings merrily along with a pleasant group on companions. Little Suzy is having a gay old time.

Now Little Suzy IS thinking. The difference between her and Little Johnny is that Little Johnny is actively enjoying a time of silent musing while Little Suzy is thinking but on a subconscious level. She is not stopping to mull over her next words to her rambunctious friends, nor is she stopping to think... "I will put my hand on this bar and then I will swing my foot forward therefore I will have momentum to reach the next bar thereafter." Suffice to say, if Little Suzy had the vocabulary to casually use 'momentum' then I would afraid. Of course, this is an example, of which is now over.

I will conclude this piece of writing with a piece thought that I came up with some time ago. For lack of inspiration, this particular work is entitled Polarized Divinity. Enjoy if you will.

I have vaguely observed the world spin
It’s axis leaning and tilting to various degrees
Barren lies and forsaken promises
Come to stand on the desolate land
Our calloused hands let the whirlwinds of sand
Drift off like millions of precious lives

Beyond the devastation of depressive tyranny

Lies the moon reflected in passionless water
Listen to the teardrops illuminated not by pain
But by the sorrow of time gone by
Miserable agony of undeniable growth
Are shown purely through the hearts desire of need
Let these dreams guide my feet
For eternal damnation is a notion
That is blank in the cavity of thought


-Epoch [z]

p.s. Have you noticed the word confuzzled? Yes, well, I was thinking about it and I believe it stems from two words. Confused + Puzzled= Confuzzled